If there really are aliens,
I know why they don’t land here
And say, “Hello,”
And develop a cultural-exchange program.
They have zoomed around in saucers
And watched us from afar,
Studying our habits,
Observing how we live.
They’ve seen us clear-cut and toxify and exterminate.
They zoom around in saucers now,
Filled with unruly alien children
And pointing at us from afar,
At how we clear-cut and toxify and exterminate.
If there really are aliens,
I know why they don’t land here:
We are their “Scared Straight Program.”

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