Lets talk about making money. The old fashioned way. Just like the poor deluded hierarchs do.
I read something not long ago- did you know the North Korean Government is the number one counterfeiter  of U.S. money? Yeah. By some estimates, North Korea prints billions of phony U.S. dollars… and they’re so realistic, even government officials can’t tell. So, in order to avoid the devaluation of the U.S. dollar, the Treasury and the Federal Reserve developed a strategy; they simply assume theres “X” amount of counterfeit money in circulation, and they print less. If they didn’t do that, there’d be so much money in circulation that the U.S. dollar would be as worthless as a V.I.P. all access tourpass of the Fukushima power plant.
Now, some implications of this. For one, the U.S. economy now depends on having enough counterfeit money in circulation at any given time. “Funny money” is figured into the government equation. For two, in order to maintain economic health of our “great nation,” we have a patriotic responsibility to make sure there are enough bogus bills floating about.
We all have to do our part, you know. And I have a sneaking suspicion that way too few people out there are uploading their civic responsibility and printing their own cash. So as the only gonzo journalist reporting live from the bowels of a super-duper-uber-ultra -max facility, it’s my job to consult some professional counterfeiters and provide you with the full report.
According to G- Money, Polo and C-Dog. The experts in this field, it all begins with the paper. You have to do a little research, but there is a kind of paper sold at art supply stores that feels a lot like money and passes the “marker test” that any cashier might employ to check for counterfeit. That’s the paper you want.
The experts also agree that you never want to print anything bigger than a ten dollar bill. Bigger denominations get back to the bank too fast and the alarm bells go off. Ten dollar bills, in contrast, get recirculated and may stay in circulation for years before going to a bank.
Now, as for printing; the experts are split. G-Money says to just use a color copier. You can put three bills in a plastic sleeve and line them up. Get them so you can match front to back, and then let it roll, printing a whole ream or two of paper. Polo and C-Dog prefer scanning bills onto a computer and printing them out on a color printer and then using those printed “masters” on a color copier. The downside to this, of course is the computer memory that incriminates you. Something to think about.
You’ll want one of those big paper slicers like you used to have in art class in school. Examine the bills. They gotta line up perfect.
Now, C-Dog suggests tossing the bills in the bathtub with water and green food coloring. He says this helps ”fatten” the bills, make them look used, and additionally protects you against the “smear” test, as real money always leaves a green smudge when rubbed on white paper.
Last step in making money, toss your new bills in the dryer with wooden poker chips. Wooden poker chips smell like money. Experts estimate you can make thousands per day.
As for  laundering the bills, you want to go to places that are dark and hectic where the cashiers have low morale. At a bar, you can buy a drink with a ten and put the clean money in your other pocket. Gas stations. It’s also good to circulate your money in tourist towns, around amusement parks, for example. Your money will pop up all over the map. Be careful not to circulate the same serial number repeatedly to the same cash register.
You can then take all those fives and ones and have your friends go into different businesses to cash them in for twenties. You can then take those twenties to a bank, get travelers checks and put them in a safe deposit box. But you don’t want to go into a bank with five grand in fives and ones or you’ll raise alarms.
Remember, none of these people realize that you’re just trying to do your duty to keep the U.S. economy afloat. They’ll think you are involved in low risk/high yield criminal behavior to avoid being a wage slave, funding resistance activities with virtually free money. There’s  no way for them to know you are selflessly performing a necessary function to ensure  the economic recovery.  < sigh> We live in a hyperfascist  techno surveillance state, so be safe. Think things through. No good deed goes unpunished.
This is anarchist prisoner Sean Swain from the Ohio supermax facility, if you can hear the sound of my voice, you are the resistance.