ODRC Counsel Trainwreck Trevor and the Swintec typewriter he seized from Anarchist Prisoner Sean Swain are happy to announce that they are expecting the birth of their first child together. They have been in an intimate relationship since 2012 when Trainwreck first took the typewriter from Swain and has refused to return it. Not only will this be the first child that Trainwreck and the typewriter have had together, it is also the first reported offspring resulting from the joining of someone ostensibly human and an appliance. Until this event, all prior appliances were manufactured rather than bred. As the child of this union will be the first of its kind, it is unknown whether it will take on the traits of its appliance parent or take on the sociopathic fuckweasel traits of its ostensibly-human parent, or whether it will be some monstrous hybrid. At its birth, Trainwreck will be poised to smash it with a rock, just in case– as he was at the birth of all of his previous children with ostensibly-human mothers. Trainwreck first started his relationship with the Swintec typewriter after being shunned by all of the women of Moundsville, West Virginia, who themselves reported a preference for appliances over Trainwreck. Trainwreck is the first carbon-based life form with male genitalia to ever be shunned by ALL of the women of Moundsville. Trainwreck and the typewriter plan to name their child, “Qwerty.” To congratulate the expecting couple, call (614) 752-1765.