Everyone is focusing on the role of “Russian hackers” to influence the 2016 election. It would seem that the intelligence services feel far more comfortable in thinking that faceless and nameless foreign hackers exerted influence over the U.S. election process and contaminated the purity of American duh-mocracy. But those same intelligence services know what I did. And they don’t want you to know about it, because they don’t want anyone to know that a prisoner in Ohio who spent his teen years writing up training manuals for military intelligence is largely responsible for the big, steaming, electoral turd on the American coffee table.
It appears I’m going to have to toot my own horn. Pat my own back. Declare my involvement in the election of the most embarrassing moron to ever occupy the White House, and to explain why I did it.
I ran for president in 2016 as a write-in candidate and some very cool folks even printed up some t-shirts with my face on them. One of those t-shirts got famous on one broadcast of the major network news after Trump’s election, when a rebel who just shoved a dumpster into the street turned and, while her face was covered with a bandana, my face on her t-shirt was not. I remember the journalist narrating that this rebel was one of the “Hillary supporters.” Not quite.
At any rate, my run for president didn’t really take off. Go figure. I promised to deliberately sabotage everything and end the United States government once and for all.
I really can’t imagine why I wasn’t more popular.
But I wasn’t the only Ohio candidate. John Kasich, governor of Ohio, had tossed his hat into the ring as a republican contender. Kasich, a die-hard fascist fuckweasel of the absolutely worst variety, is one of those Citi-Bank/ Lehman Brothers predators who continue to bounce from the private sector to the public sector and back again, the kind of really sleazy opportunists who fist-fuck everybody not rich and powerful and privileged. What makes him far more dangerous than most fascists is that this guy can talk like a democrat. If you didn’t know better, you would think that Kasich is right up there with Pope Francis and Mother Teresa in his love for the poor and the mentally ill and the drug addicted and the homeless. By the nonsense that pours out of the suck-hole under his nose, Kasich is a walking Cumbayah moment.
But don’t look in the rearview mirror at the bodies back there on the road behind him, because they’re considerable. Besides making his fortunes at the corporate sociopaths that bottomed-out the economy and left the workers holding the bag, Kasich devastated Ohio as governor. He gutted school funding and created a school system that cranks out clueless half-wits. He privatized everything he could possibly privatize, creating profit incentives in what used to be government services. His prisons are filled with the mentally ill, run by a former Corrections Corporation of America lobbyist whose primary mission was to enrich his colleagues– a prison complex that surpasses the funding alotted to the schools, proving that Kasich would rather lock you up than teach you anything.
Kasich hasn’t been bad for everybody though. White cops have had a real hay-day in using black folks for target practice since this fuckweasel got elected.
Back when I was at the super-duper-max for my “ideology” because Kasich approves of domestic torture and repression of his opponents, I gave Kasich the nickname “J-Wow.” Running against him for governor in 2014, I challenged Governor J-Wow to a no-holds-barred tables-ladders-and-chairs Texas Cage Match, with all pay-per-view revenues going to the winner.
J-Wow wouldn’t wrestle me.
Smart move for him. I would have destroyed that goofy fuck-stick.
At any rate, my nickname for him, “J-Wow,” has stuck– at least in anarchist and anti-authoritarian circles. John Kasich is forever deemed “Governor J-Wow.”
So, in the run-up to the 2016 presidential election, as I watched the republican field thin-out, I saw J-Wow’s chances of winning the republican nomination get better and better. And, if you follow that kind of shit, you will remember that J-Wow was positioning himself as the “adult in the room,” as other republican jackwagons tried to out-Trump Trump. J-Wow took the proverbial high road.
I told you this fascist fuckweasel was dangerous.
And, not to take anything away from J-Wow, the guy is methodical and he’s an excellent “manager,” able to carry out an agenda and bring plans to successful completion. He’s not a hapless clown like Trump.
He’s incredibly capable. Nefarious, but capable. Sinister, but accomplished.
So, while others were saying, “Anybody but Trump,” I was coming to the very opposite conclusion: “Nobody but Trump.” And it isn’t because I agree with Trump on any of the issues. I don’t. He’s wrong on everything. But he’s got the management and leadership skills of monkeys flinging poop at the zoo.
Because I recognize that this larger fuckweasel matrix is my enemy, and because I want it to fail– and fail hard –the worst thing that could happen to this global nightmare is to put this orange buffoon behind the wheel.
In drawing that conclusion, the Russian hackers and I are in perfect agreement. The Russian hackers didn’t employ their influence because of their appreciation for Trump’s politics or for his character; they employed their influence because they wanted the dumbest guy in the room to occupy the most powerful office on the planet and fuck everything up.
So, I had to get J-Wow out of the way.
Consider, if J-Wow stuck around until the republican convention, he would be a real threat to steal the nomination from Trump. None of the party elites wanted Trump. None of the state party elites who name the delegates wanted Trump. And, to add icing on the cake, the convention was to be held in Cleveland, Ohio, right in J-Wow’s back yard. On top of all of that, national polling showed Trump losing to Hillary but showed John Kasich, of all people, beating Hillary by the largest margins.
Again– I told you J-Wow was dangerous.
So, if J-Wow could just stay in the race, he could potentially create a back-room cigar-smoke compromise among party elites and snatch the nomination from Trump. And then beat Hillary.
Worst case scenario.
So, I had to find some way to get J-Wow out of the race. When I came up with a plan, the republican field was down to four: Trump, J-Wow, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz.
Because all of my communications were suspended at the time, I had to collaborate with another prisoner. We’ll call him AD. AD agreed to help me out by getting his brother to send communications for me. AD had his own cell phone at the time and could text-message his brother. So, AD text messaged the following communication to be sent to an Ohio campaign aide to Trump:
“Governor J-Wow Kasich wants Americans to trust him to fight ISIS but he can’t get his own CABINET MEMBER’s home address off of blastblog.noblogs.org! J-Wow is inept like a clown taking pies to the face! Go to blastblog.noblogs.org where ODRC Director Gary Mohr’s home address is!”
See, here’s the deal. J-Wow’s weakness was foreign policy. And if, on top of that, you can make J-Wow look “soft,” make him look “weak,” then the republican hawks drift away from him. So, I knew that if Trump’s campaign knew that J-Wow’s cabinet member’s home address was posted on-line, and if Trump’s campaign could create an image of J-Wow being “weak” and “powerless” to stop such a direct and insulting attack on someone in his own cabinet, then the Trump campaign could create a devastating narrative.
When AD’s brother emailed that message to the Trump campaign, I didn’t know whether or not anyone would respond– but it was worth a shot. If someone did respond, then they would have an insulting nickname and an entire strategy of attack already created– just add water. Or, in this case, just add Trump.
Imagine Donald Trump throwing insults at “Governor J-Wow,” and talking about how J-Wow’s cabinet members had their home addresses outted on the internet and J-Wow just sat there like a clown in a dunk-tank, taking that nonsense.
“Nobody respects him,” the message would imply. “Nobody fears him. ISIS will walk all over this bum.”
A couple weeks went by. On the eve of the Florida primary, AD sent word to me that someone from the Trump campaign– from the NATIONAL campaign –had emailed AD’s brother seeking more information about blastblog and “J-Wow.” AD’s brother simply told them to visit the site where cabinet member Gary Mohr’s home address was posted.
After the vote count for Florida came back, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio bowed out. That left only Trump and J-Wow. J-Wow, that night, vowed to stay in all the way to the convention.
J-Wow intended to position himself to be the nominee at a brokered convention.
He was staying in the race. He said so.
But something happened… because, less than 24 hours later, J-Wow held a press conference and without any explanation for his sudden and inexplicable about-face, he graciously quit his campaign and left the republican nomination for president to Donald Trump.
What happened? I’ll tell you what happened: The Trump campaign contacted J-Wow’s campaign and told them that they intended to publicly humiliate J-Wow as weak and powerless because J-Wow’s prisons director had his home address splashed all over the internet. The FBI had attempted to get the Trump campaign to drop it, as they did not want more public exposure and possible copy-cats inspired by the idea of posting home addresses of prison officials, and then Trump campaign told the FBI to go fuck itself.
Rather than face the possibility of Trump’s campaign broadcasting a successful resistance tactic to use against government officials, and rather than face the smear of becoming “J-Wow” in the minds of republican voters, John Kasich quit the race– only hours after vowing to stay in until the end.
I firmly believe I engineered the surrender of Ohio Governor John Kasich in 2016. I firmly believe that my efforts cleared the field for Trump to win the republican nomination and become president.
So, if the Russian hackers discover my run for Ohio Governor in 2018 and they jump on board to orchestrate my election, this would not be the first time that Russian hackers and I were working on the same team with the same goal for destroying the same enemy who genuinely has it coming. Both the Russian hackers and I were celebrating the beginning of the a-Trump-alypse in 2016, and, very likely, we were both at least somewhat responsible for its occurrence.
In 2018, we can again collaborate to bring the unraveling of the swivelization program just one step closer.
If this is treason, then I hope everyone reading this makes the most of it.
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