BLACK LIGHTNING ALGORITHM PROMPTS INVESTIGATION OF BEN TURK AND SEANSWAIN.ORG BY FUCKWEASEL BOZOS OF INEPTITUDE (FBI): AT ISSUE, ANARCHIST PRISONER’S SUPER POWER, SHOOTING FIRE OUT OF HIS ASS

In 2010, then-Mansfield Warden Terry Tibbals, during a Community Service shin-dig, told Sean Swain, a skilled painter for Community Service, all about Tibbals’ black Lexus. He was pretty proud of his car. In fact it was all he talked about.

Conventional wisdom says that men often use cars as phallic symbols to compensate for the size of their penises. This could not be the case for Tibbals however, since, at roughly 400 pounds, he has likey never SEEN his own penis.

So, whatever his motives for getting the car, he also acquired the personalized plate, BLACK LIGHTNING, his second favorite topic of banal conversation.

It would appear that Tibbals has blabbed his personalized plates to so many people that the Ohio Department of Retribution and Corruption has included BLACK LIGHTNING into the algorithm they use to scan all prisoners’ outgoing emails. According to BeerBong Tommy Miller, the assistant attorney general defending the ODRC against Sean Swain’s lawsuit, it was Swain’s recent mention of BLACK LIGHTNING in an outgoing email that drew red flags and led to the investigation of Swain… requiring them to cancel Swain’s completely-unrelated video visits. [editor’s note: Sean may not understand that vanity plates can only be seven characters long, so BLACK LIGHTNING, at fourteen characters  is definitely not even Tibbals’ actual licence plate in the first place.] Continue reading →