Robert “Skinny” Mahone had been my next door neighbor since we both transferred from the Ohio State Penitentiary to L-block at Lucasville (for a captivating account of that rip-roaring adventure, check out “Prison Bus to Shitville,”). Skinny got
pepper sprayed and dragged to the hole by racist fuckweasels (for a captivating account of THAT fuckin’ madness, check out “The Hunger Conspiracy“). Because all of you savage cannibal maniacs out there beyond the fence mounted an all-out assault on the Shitville fuckweasels, they dusted Skinny off and returned him to his cell on L-block, his balls still burning from the pepper spray they smeared in his underwear (he called this “waterboarding his nuts”).
But Skinny was no longer my neighbor when I left Shitville on a surprise trip to Warren Correctional. Skinny was in the hospital.

Here’s what happened:
JPay sucks. At Shitville, JPay has four kiosks for general use in the library and two in the gym. Routinely, most of them are broken. This leads to a log-jam as sixty to eighty prisoners attempt to get or send emails or download music in the span of an hour. In the library, for about a week, only one kiosk was working. This led to a whole block of angry maximum security prisoners ready to rumble. Skinny and another prisoner named ATL had a heated exchange over ATL monopolizing the only operable kiosk.
So, JPay’s negligence led to what happened next…
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