This originally aired on The Final Straw radio show.

I think its high time we have a discussion, maybe globally, about this Jesus guy who’s name keeps popping up again and again, even in the early days of the Ferguson uprising. Jesus really seems to be getting in the way of things. I haven’t met him myself, but it appears plenty of other people have. A large number of his friends seem to be painters. Its clear from depictions of Jesus over the last two thousand years, he doesn’t age much. So he must be at least a distant relative of Dick Clark, or New Years Rockin Eve fame.

Although Jesus has clearly had some cosmetic work done. If you look at his nose he used to have a real honker, now from the copious renderings of him available in any American trailer park, Jesus looks a lot like Billy Rae Cyrus in a bedsheet and sandals. It seems that, of late, his primary mission is to bring his achy-breaky heart to any site of resistance against the tyrannical state so he can wrap his loving arms around his followers, hold them defenseless and let the cops punch kick teargas, tase and perhaps even shoot them to death. Jesus restrains his followers while cops knock the snot out of them and then his followers, inevitably bleeding from any number of bodily orifices invariably say “thank you Jesus.”

The popular consensus worldwide is that Jesus is opposed to violence, but during his two thousand year career as a community organizer his catagorical opposition to violence plays out the same way over and over. Jesus restrains the oppressed from their liberatory violence while agents of the state continue unfettered brutality, assaulting and killing, employing unilateral state violence with reckless abandon. And because of Jesus’ strict policy, his followers and those who join them are doomed.

Allegedly, Jesus loves you. He wants you to stand there and get your brain bashed in, again. So if that’s his idea of love, I can only assume he came from a very disfunctional family, his son of god claims not withstanding. But given his track record, I have to say, those claims are suspect. In two millenium of liberation work, this dude hasn’t figured out a better system for confronting and disempowering state terrorism than to employ the same tired strategy of turning his followers into doormats. For being the son of god, he’s clearly not too bright.

You’d think the son of god would be more gifted in the brains department. Savior of the world? Given this guy’s abysmal failures I wouldn’t want him coaching the highschool football team. We’re talking two thousand years of this guy sabotaging and ruing every single liberation movement he infiltrates, getting in the way while claiming liberation is what he’s really about. If you’re playing for his team, you’re better off not showing up. You can save time: smack yourself in the face with a baseball bat and go on with your life. Cut out the middle man.

Despite his ability to pull unlimited bread and fish out of his head, Jesus is apparently not very observant. While the bread and fish parlor tricks always go over well with hungry folks you know you’ll wake up tomorrow with bruises and swelling of proverbial stones and scorpions and its crazy the degree to which his followers keep deferring to him anyway. There’s even a song called “Jesus Take the Wheel” right. Like we’re better off relinquishing control of a motor vehicle to some guy who achieved his top speed on the back of a donkey.

I googled this Jesus character to see what his deal is. According to his rap sheet, he was executed as a revolutionary by a tyrannical state after a show trial and a kangaroo court. That’s apparently where this dude gets his revolutionary street cred, but personally, I think we’re talking about more than just the poverty of his liberation program. Just my opinion, but I think this Jesus character might be a state collaborator. I know, it’s not cool to call someone out without evidence, and I’ll likely catch some flack, but I expect Jesus is an infiltrator deployed by the state, tricking the oppressed to abandon effective strategy. With the real liberatory power neutralized, the terror state bashes skulls. That means Jesus doesn’t really oppose violence, he opposes liberation.

Yeah. Jesus is a snitch. An insidious one.

Thanks to this ubiquitous saboteur things never get qualitatively better, and even when they seem to improve for a short time, they just slide back to where they’ve always been. We get riled up and authorities deploy Jesus to hold us while cops pound us out. That’s the recipe for all of us ending up unarmed and face down in the street. Just like Michael Brown.

If we’re ever gonna change things, we gotta do something about this Jesus guy. No doubt he’s on the Ferguson police department’s payroll.

This is anarchist prisoner Sean Swain from Ohio’s Supemax Facility.

If you have ears to hear, you are the resistance.