For anyone awaiting the election results for Ohio on November 4th, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news first.

It would appear that the corporate mainstream media would have you believe that John Kasich won the election for Ohio Governor by a landslide. Personally, I’m skeptical. I noted that the vote tallies didn’t even include me, but only listed Kasich and Fitzgerald, the corporate party candidates.

By not even listing me, the mainstream media would have you believe that thousands of voters didn’t write me in on their ballots, which is totally inconceivable. I mean, think about it. If given the choice, what voter wouldn’t vote for an anarchist prisoner held at a supermax facility promising to abolish the State forever?

Exactly.

So, undoubtedly, what we’re facing here is widespread vote fraud. Possibly, the most extensive theft of an election in the history of ever. It’s clear that the two hierarch, corporate-owned political parties circled the wagons to protect their collective ponzi scheme against an anarchist insurgent, and they rigged the election statewide.

We probably should have seen this coming. I mean, think about it. The democrats would rather cooperate in a fixed election and let a republican assume office and still have a hope of winning the next election rather than allowing the true vote tally to elect an anarchist who will take down the whole system once and for all.

So that’s the bad news. JWow is poised to remain sitting in my office, farting in my pleather chair… His stinky sock feet on my desk… Digging in his ear with my pen cap… Leaving his crusty boogers on the underside of my desk drawer.

The travesty.

But, the good news for all of you freedom-loving, black-bloc, molotov-chucking insurrectionists out there is, I’m not conceding this election. I’ve already written a strongly-worded letter of protest in red crayon to Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted, a dog-swapping hierarch of the republican variety, demanding that his office immediately conduct a hand count of the votes. I have vowed not to rest until an accurate hand count is achieved.

Not surprising, but Husted has not responded in a crayon of any color. You would think from this creepy, irregular silence that the Secretary of State’s office has inexplicably run out of crayons all together.

So, I have consulted my campaign staff. On their advice, I intend not to concede the election. Instead, in January, when JWow is being administered a bogus oath in some fraudulent clown-show ceremony, I’ll be sworn in, right here in A-block, as Ohio’s Governor-in-Exile.

Yep. Your run-of-the-mill constitutional crisis.

I and my staff will then contact the ruling hierarchs across the State– Ohio Supreme Court judges, senators, representatives– soliciting their recognition of me as the real Governor of Ohio. I’ll then start issuing Executive Orders as Governor-in-Exile, all designed to bring about the total destruction of the State of Ohio by February 1st, 2015. That’s the day we’ll all dance naked around a bonfire where the Ohio Statehouse used to be. If the party gets out of hand, we may end up cooking and eating some former government officials. So, if you’re opposed to that, I suggest you bring your own hotdogs.

Of course, I’ll be resigning as Governor on February 2nd. My job in Ohio will be finished. Swivelization will be a bad memory. Schools and prisons will be squats. The land and national guard hardware will be in the hands of the Native American tribes who lived here before the colonizer came.

So, that’s my plan moving forward. I hope I can count on your support. In light of the catastrophes we’re facing, I think semi-nomadic hunter-gathering deserves another shot.

But is Ohio enough? I think perhaps we need to abolish the United States. Yeah. Definitely.

Wanna dance naked around a bonfire where the Whitehouse used to be? Write me in for president in 2016.

For Ihsan, this is Ohio Governor-in-Exile Elect Sean Swain from Ohio’s supermax facility… If you’re listening, you ARE the resistance…

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