Tag Archives: governor

Post-Script, November 4

jwow mollyFor anyone awaiting the election results for Ohio on November 4th, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news first.

It would appear that the corporate mainstream media would have you believe that John Kasich won the election for Ohio Governor by a landslide. Personally, I’m skeptical. I noted that the vote tallies didn’t even include me, but only listed Kasich and Fitzgerald, the corporate party candidates.

By not even listing me, the mainstream media would have you believe that thousands of voters didn’t write me in on their ballots, which is totally inconceivable. I mean, think about it. If given the choice, what voter wouldn’t vote for an anarchist prisoner held at a supermax facility promising to abolish the State forever?

Exactly. Continue reading →

November 3rd

This originally aired on the Final Straw Radio show.
swain fuck change revolt
I’ve gotten mail recently asking how my campaign for governor is going. In case you didn’t know, I’m running for Ohio Governor and the election is November 3rd.

Hope I can count on your support. My platform is pretty simple and can be summed up with a catch-phrase that’s as inspiriting as it is grammatically incorrect:
I MAKE TOTAL DESTROY.
Ohio calls itself The Heart of It All. That’s what you see on the signs alongside the highway when you have the misfortune of coming here. So, it’s my goal, as Governor of Ohio, to drive a wooden stake right through The Heart of It All.
Here’s my ninety-day plan:
First, by executive order, I would decommission the Ohio National Guard and give their heavy weaponry to the Native American tribes who were here first. They can use that to take back what they want.
Second, I’ll empty all the prisons. 50,000 prisoners liberated. Not one fence to remain standing. Continue reading →