This originally aired on The Final Straw radio show.

I’ve been thinking about incorporating myself. Not quite sure what the process entails, going from mere human to corporation. I hope it’s not too painful.
Recently, the United States Supreme Court ruled that corporations have religious rights. A company called Hobby Lobby took exception to some of the provisions in Obamacare that relate to employee coverage of some forms of birth control, claiming the company had an objection on religious grounds. The Supreme Court agreed and now Hobby Lobby, a corporation, is exempt from some of the portions of existing law due to the corporation’s religious beliefs.
Must be nice to have the right to hold religious beliefs, but I wouldn’t know. I’m just a mere human. My experience is, as a human, I have no right to beliefs whatsoever.
In 2009, when I arrived at Mansfield Correctional, the State ignored its own laws and placed me on a gang list for my “beliefs.” Unlike the situation with corporations where beliefs put the corporation beyond the laws, being a mere human, beliefs allowed the state to transcend the laws for purposes of monitoring and harassing. Even after I went through the bureaucratic process of having my religion recognized by the State – Neolithic  Indigenism is now a recognized religion just like Christianity or Buddhism – Investigator Angela Hunsinger kept me on the “gang” list because one of the central tenets of Neolithic Indigenism is rejection of institutional hierarchy. Hunsinger used my beliefs against me by claiming my beliefs matched those of a group called The Army of the Twelve Monkeys.
So, I was subjected to torture.
Angela Hunsinger got promoted.
Now, if corporations and mere humans were treated equally, by my experience, all the officers and major stockholders of Hobby Lobby would get arrested and sent to prison each time some whacko shot an abortion clinic doctor – because they share the same religious belief. But instead of getting apprehended and harassed for recognized religious beliefs like I was, Hobby Lobby gets issued immunities from existing laws by the highest court in the country.
On top of that, corporations already have lots of rights that mere humans don’t have. Corporations transcend national borders, while mere humans are left with empty stomachs and their noses pressed against the fence. In fact, national borders are designed for no other reason than to stop human migration. Corporations are also granted political influence that mere humans don’t have. They can give unlimited contributions, previously called “bribes” to politicians and political parties, buying the exclusive right to shape party platforms and even write legislation. Corporations also have speech rights that mere humans don’t have.
As Abby Hoffman noted when he wrote Steal This Book in 1969, free speech ain’t free. Printing presses cost money. As a modern example, you or I can have the same free speech as the Disney Corporation if we can scrounge up the necessary loot to purchase the American Broadcasting Company. Until that day comes, the Disney Corporation has its voice heard on ABC news, telling the world what to think, while you and I have blogs in remote corners of the Twitter – sphere where no one looks.
So, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being a mere human,  my whole existence subject to the whims of a complex matrix of corporations- these multi-national predators with God-like powers, each of them, it seems, owning and trading stocks in the U.S. ….as if the corporations each own a percentage of every one of us. That one owns my feet….and your hand…and his liver…and her ovaries…That one owns my kneecap and your lungs. We are the commodities on the corporation’s shelves.
Sucks to be us. Well, you.
Cuz the last time you hear me, I won’t be human anymore. I’m going to get with my legal counsel and draw up the paperwork to become the Sean Swain Corporation. The hierarch delusion will bestow upon me all kinds of nifty rights all you mere humans only dream about. I’ll have the right to cross borders and ignore environmental laws like Dow chemical did, the right to lie and kill people like George W did, and then I can hang out with Justices Antonin Scalia and Uncle Clarence Thomas at the naked dog-swap behind the Masonic Lodge and chalk it all up to my religious beliefs.

The Sean Swain Corporation. Sure beats getting kicked around as a mere human.

This is anarchist prisoner Sean Swain. The Sean Swain Corporation Trademark Pending, from Ohio’s supermax facility. If you can hear the sound of my voice, Patent Pending, All Rights Reserved, you are the resistance