[Wanna support Sean? http://seanswain.org/how-to-support-sean-swains-hungerstrike/]
In recent phone interviews regarding the “investigation” into Anarchist Prisoner Sean Swain’s video visits (that did not happen), Ohio Department of Retribution and Corruption Investigator Paul Schumacher, a.k.a. “Sherlock Paulie SuperGenius,” referred callers to legal counsel defending prison fuckweasels in the civil action filed by Sean’s attorney, Richard Kerger. Paulie SuperGenius, having reviewed the white noise of the 4 video visits he did not allow Ben Turk to have with Sean, came to the undeniable conclusion that he really, really fucked up by targeting Sean for no legitimate reason at all, and rather than giving callers the same ridiculous answer that tasted bad in his own mouth (a contrivance about BLACK LIGHTNING and burning down the Statehouse– as if anyone would miss it) Paulie SuperGenius referred callers to a lawyer.

That lawyer is BeerBong Tommy Miller, Chief of the State-Terror Defense Bureau at the Ohio Attorney General’s Office. BeerBong Tommy, who is almost just like a real attorney, has defended the ODRC’s list of hapless villains who tortured Sean for being an anarchist (“anarchist: someone who recognizes we’re better off on our own rather than being oppressed by these hapless clowns”) and for telling the truth in public (“the truth: we’re better off on our own rather than being oppressed by these hapless clowns”).

BeerBong Tommy, who is almost just like a real attorney, already threw Trainwreck Trevor, ODRC counsel, under the bus, revealing that Trainwreck had a hand in every aspect of the terror-program designed to break Sean for being an anarchist (“anarchist: someone who realizes that hierarch torture-creeps like Trainwreck are sociopaths”). So, BeerBong Tommy (who is almost just like a real attorney) becoming the point-man for this fiasco proves he’s an idiot (“idiot: someone who doesn’t realize that hierarch torture-creeps like Trainwreck are sociopaths”).

Meanwhile, anticipating that Sean may face federal charges for his admission that he has actively cultivated the super-power of shooting flames out of his ass and therefore plotted the immenent destruction of the Statehouse (as if anyone would miss it), supporters questioned an expert who may eventually be called in Sean’s defense. This expert affirmed “to a reasonable degree of medical certainty” that, generally, “all farts are flammable” and “Sean Swain’s ass” is “wholly unremarkable.” Also, Sean’s counsel, Richard Kerger, who IS a real attorney, prepares to file for an injunction in federal court that, if granted, would put the smackdown on these state-terrorists and would forbid them from blocking Sean’s communications mediums based on made-up nonsense (like BLACK LIGHTNING and burning down the Statehouse, as if anyone would miss it).