Everyone is focusing on the role of “Russian hackers” to influence the 2016 election. It would seem that the intelligence services feel far more comfortable in thinking that faceless and nameless foreign hackers exerted influence over the U.S. election process and contaminated the purity of American duh-mocracy. But those same intelligence services know what I did. And they don’t want you to know about it, because they don’t want anyone to know that a prisoner in Ohio who spent his teen years writing up training manuals for military intelligence is largely responsible for the big, steaming, electoral turd on the American coffee table.

It appears I’m going to have to toot my own horn. Pat my own back. Declare my involvement in the election of the most embarrassing moron to ever occupy the White House, and to explain why I did it.

Here goes…

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In late November, after Warren Corruptional mailroom fuckweasels stole my incoming mail from the Secretary of State (you know, because the Ohio Secretary of State is on a terror watch list… or he’s a gang leader…?) I wrote up a lawsuit, “The Army of the 12 Monkeys versus Warren Correctional Institution,” along with a motion for a restraining order, and sent that in to the Warren County court. Or, so I thought.

Here it is, early January and the Warren County clerk of courts hasn’t so much as answered any of my letters inquiring what happened to my lawsuit. It is quickly appearing that Warren Correctional mailroom fuckweasels aren’t just stealing my incoming mail, but are also stealing my outgoing mail… including the lawsuit I sent out to challenge theft of mail… and that the Warren County clerk of courts never got it.

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I’m currently running for Ohio Governor from prison. My campaign pledge is to abolish the State of Ohio, recognizing the Treaty of Greenville that set aside this area as “unceded Indian Territory.” I plan to invite the First Nations back, hand them the national guard armaments, declare the “State of Ohio” officially abolished, and prepare for the U.S. invasion.

No. Really.

I won’t get too into the theoretical here, but true liberation can only be undertaken in conjunction with a campaign of anti-colonization. You can’t speak of liberation while standing in someone else’s yard.

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The situation in Palestine proves democracy ain’t what it used to be. Of course, as any anarchist can tell you, democracy has never been “what it used to be.”

As the self-appointed spokesperson for democracy, the United States promotes the false idea that Israel is the only “successful democracy” in their region. This is absolutely true so long as “successful democracy” equates with being a top-five human rights abuser, or so long as “successful democracy” means a social and political system based on apartheid.

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There’s a relationship between fear and authority. Consider, from the time that we’re born, we’re programmed to fear those who claim some kind of authority over us. Fear is first instilled in us by our parents, and we fear them even if they’re not violent. Think about that threat often wielded against misbehaving children: “Just wait until your father gets home.”

We’re supposed to feel fear. That fear is supposed to alter our behavior.

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Let’s talk about happiness.

Some famous dead guy included the “pursuit of happiness” as one of our “unalienable rights” described in the U.S. Constitution, right up there with life and liberty. It would seem that, at least to that famous dead guy, we live and we have the freedom to choose our own way for the purpose of getting happy.

We have lots of self-help gurus who write books giving us advice on how to get happy. Impossible to know how many of those gurus are truly happy themselves. Clearly they wrote their books out of an unhappiness with their financial situations before writing the books. The Dalai Lama wrote a book entitled, The Art of Happiness. So, even the world’s most iconic Buddhist figure proposes that there is a spiritual basis for getting happy.

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After the not guilty verdicts in the Chicago Conspiracy trial in 1969, one of the jurors was interviewed– an older white woman who admitted she voted for Nixon. Explaining her not guilty verdict, she said simply that this was the first time she was afraid of her government.

In that bell weather case for the Nixon fascist regime, so-called leaders of the protest outside the Democratic Natonal Conventon were put on trial for “conspiracy,” facing the rest of their lives in prison. Defendants included Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Ruben of the yippies, Bobby Seale of the Black Panthers, and anti-war pacifists.

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Susie stepped in it.

There is no rewind button.

So, here’s how we got here:

I sent out legal documents to register the Army of the 12 Monkeys and to get recognition of my ownership over the trade name. When the Secretary of State sent the forms back, the fuckweasels realized what I had done… and maybe had an idea of the implications… so, in a goofy, half-thought-out effort to undo a legal registration that has already happened, the fuckweasels simply stole the mail.

They claim I cannot “conduct business” without prior approval of the warden.

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Well, we’re back to another holiday season. We have somehow survived another Thanksgiving, which, given the actual conduct of the pilgrims and their kids, ought to be called “ThanksTAKING” rather than “Thanksgiving,” or, even more accurately, should be called, “We’re Going to Take All Your Shit and Then Kill You Anyway.” Problem is, those little boxes on the calendar won’t easily hold a holiday called that, so we go with the euphemism, Thanksgiving.

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Recently, in a civil action filed against the ODRC by a prisoner who was assaulted by staff here at WCI, the Ohio Attorney General’s Office disclosed a number of documents. Included in that discovery was the “Safety Data Sheets” for the pepper spray used by ODRC staff. Since this prisoner was assaulted with pepper spray, he’s entitled to the Safety Data Sheet on this chemical spray.

In case you’re unfamiliar, Safety Data Sheets are the documents put out by the manufacturer of a product, giving you the A to Z about the product’s proper use and any potential hazards the product might pose.

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